A new normal

I have been home for a little more than two weeks... and it really seems like so much longer than that. Granada was a dream, a good one, but still it almost doesn't seem like it happened. The program directors told us at the beginning of the program when we returned home we would remember only the greatest times of our experience, and that is true. I don't think I will forget the extremely frustrating moments I endured, but they seem a bit muddled now. I look back on my time in Granada as a very fond memory. I think because the outcome was so great, and what I have learned from my experience is extremely positive, now that it's over that is what stands out the most. At first, my main interest and reason for being in Spain, was for Spanish, to improve my ability to use the language. That's why it was so frustrating for me, because that is all I was basing my experience on. By the time I left I had really learned to appreciate my time in Spain, because it might be the only time I get. I really focused on living my life the way I wanted to, sometimes in English, and sometimes in Spanish. Obviously, my Spanish was still important, is still important, but so was/is my relation with other people, and myself.

I dream in Spanish now, not every dream, but some. When I first got home I woke up not really recognizing where I was, in my room and in Idaho. I would think I woke up late and try to decide which way was the fastest way to walk to school, I could clearly route my way through the streets of Granada, passing by very recognizable sights. It still seems so real. I don't think I have quite grasped the concept that I don't know when I'll be able to go back to Granada, I feel like I might be back there tomorrow. I don't want the images of my favorite plaza, the views I witnessed every day on my walk to school, my host mom cooking dinner and welcoming me home, or the mighty Alhambra decorating the Granada city scape, to fade from my mind. I love Granada, and I'm sad I might never live there again, but someday I will go back.

I have adjusted pretty easily to my life in Idaho, because it is so usual to me. (Although it has been kind of strange not speaking Spanish.) I have lived my typical day thousands of times, in the house where I grew up. However, my life in Granada became a new "normal" for me. It is very strange to know I will never go back to exactly that, the life I knew for five months. But now, that normal has become a part of me, and I am different because of it. My outlook is different, and Granada will stay with me forever.

Two suitcases, packed and ready to go...

So, I'm leaving today. Well technically tomorrow, but at 2:00 in the morning. I head to Madrid for a 5 hour lay over and then to the United States. Philadelphia, Denver, Boise. I'll be home around midnight. I can't believe it's over.

I'm not quite sure what to do with my final hours in Granada. I don't want to waste them, but what is the best way not to? We have a group dinner tonight, one last chance to say goodbye to everybody. Mostly, I am sad to leave because I don't know when I'll come back. Granada has become a city I associate with my life, it is a part of me, and now I must leave it. But, I am returning to the arms of my family, and if it wasn't for that I wouldn't want to leave at all. I am picturing that dramatic movie finale when the main character runs in slow motion into the arms of their loved ones (insert slow romantic song here). Maybe I'm being a little over emotional but I haven't seem my family in 5 months, and that is the longest I have ever gone without seeing them. I am beyond excited. I want to savor my last moments in Granada, but considering I am going to be traveling for about 24 hours, I would also like to get a move on.

Anyways, please stay tuned. I plan to do a couple more blogs when I return home in conclusion with my physical journey. But as you know, and as I've learned, experiences like this stay with you forever, and the effect they have on mental growth is ever changing and expanding. Hasta luego Granada, it's been fun.

This is what is waiting for me at home... <3

A Place I Call Home

“Don’t be sad that it’s over, be happy that it happened.”

~ Dr. Suess

(I realize I am quoting Dr. Suess again, but this quote fits perfectly with what I am going to say.)

When I was traveling home from Greece I just kept subconsciously thinking “I want to get back home,” meaning Granada. Of course my home will always be in Idaho and with my family, but when one becomes comfortable enough to say someplace is home, it’s evident that that place has become very significant in their life. I will always think of Granada as my first home in Europe, who knows what the future holds. I have grown to love it here. I am very excited to return to my family, but I find myself torn.

The other day, I took the long way home from school, so I could walk through more sunlit streets, open plazas, and more of Granada. The weather was beautiful; I got a coffee and sat in my favorite plaza for an hour. I just sat, and thought about my experiences being abroad. I got a little emotional, realizing how much I would miss moments like that, and how much I would miss certain things about Granada. I have said before (this seems to come up in every post), it hasn’t always been easy, actually I have had some of the most difficult times of my life here, but I would never trade my semester in Granada. I am so glad I made the decision to come.

I will miss my walk to school every morning, passing graffiti art, the little tiendas along the road, café tables in the street, and walking between two apartment buildings on the narrow cobblestone streets, and looking up to the sky. I will miss café con leche, getting tapas with mi amigas, and not getting carded when I order a drink. I will miss my host mom, Maria Jose. I will miss the fountains, and I will miss the little bits of history mixed in with the modern.

I can’t wait to bring my family back here someday, to show them my city and where I lived. But, even if I come back someday it will never be the same as is it right now. Just like how I love journeying back from the Willamette library at night, walking through the campus, so serene, and returning to my dorm or apartment. I can’t imagine the feeling ever being the same if I was not a student at Willamette. But, even though I am sad to see it end next year, being a student at Willamette is a feeling I will never forget and am proud to have had the experience, just like the feeling of studying abroad in Spain, and being able to say I lived in Europe for a semester. This experience has forever changed me, I will never forget the lessons I've learned and the obstacles I have overcome. Hopefully, I also won't forget the Spanish I have learned. :)

I’m glad I can say “I’m sad to leave Granada, a place I call home.”

Solo traveler

I recently went to Greece, alone. What an amazing place, and what an amazing experience. I am so thankful I had the opportunity, although I missed my family more than ever, because normally I travel with them. But I do think traveling solo is something everyone should try.

I started off my adventure in Athens. I got to visit the Acropolis, the Parthenon, the Temple of Zeus, and the Agora. I was in the presence of ancient Greek spirit, I felt a little nerdy thinking Aristotle, Plato, and Socrates walked here once, but the feeling was quite incredible. I will never forget it. It's amazing to me that these structures are still standing as they are. The Temple of Hephaistos is the best preserved of its kind, in the world, and it dates back to 460-415 B.C. How incredible is that? Now crumbling and covered in overgrowth these structures were once new and a vital part of city life. I tried to imagine myself as an ancient Greek walking through the Agora (city center), visiting the civic offices, and viewing the speaker's platform, maybe even listening to Aristotle himself. Now only foundations and partial columns remain, but I tried to imagine the scene as it once was, people living there just like you and I.

After two days I made my way to Mykonos, a small island about a 2 and a half hour ferry ride away from Athens. It was a very picturesque. The island felt a little lonely because it was so small, and the weather wasn't that great. Those factors made it difficult to meet people. But, since it was raining so much I got a lot of shopping done! I spent most of my time right along the water front, as that is how the town is situated.

I enjoyed some delicious cappucinos, the Greeks make them well, and some amazing views. I would go back to Mykonos, but next time bring a friend with me.

Santorini was my third stop. The bad weather continued. But, I couldn't let that keep me from seeing a place I had waited so long visit. Santorini is beautiful. My first night I just wandered the down town area, taking in the sights and some food. The next day I signed up for a boat cruise of the island. Guess what? It was raining, but I was trying not to think about it while we treked to the top of an active volcano. I felt the hot steam seeping out from the ground.

We ended our tour in Oie (a small town of Santorini) with the weather beginning to cooperate. I met two girls on the boat tour and we decided to explore the town together. We had an amazing afternoon and evening, taking pictures and finding the house they used in the film "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants." Even though I probably won't ever see them again, it was great to have someone to share the moment with.

My trip to Greece was a success. I have wanted to go there for so long, and I can't believe it happened so soon. I think I got lost at least once a day, but that was part of the adventure. More importantly, I learned how to enjoy my time by myself. Seeing the Parthenon was an unbelievable moment, however I reacted differently than I would have if I had been with someone who was excited to see it too. Because I was alone, my reaction was different than I imagined it, but I learned that doesn't mean I appreciated the opportunity any less.

I was in Greece for a week and got to see some amazing things, and throughout my journey I learned a lot about myself. Independent has always been a word I use to describe my personality, however this trip gave me a new confidence, because I found out I can enjoy amazing things alone, and I discovered this for myself. I did it.

Be what you are and say how you feel because those who mind don't matter,

and those who matter don't mind.

~ Dr. Seuss

So, I am averaging 2 blogs a month... I honestly thought I would write a little more often than that. Sorry to those who are following and log on to see the same blog that has been here for weeks. I'm going to try harder to write more often these last 6+ weeks I'm here. Woah! Crazy right? Six weeks!?

Right now, I'm so happy to be here and that I have this opportunity, but I really miss my loved ones. That has been a reoccuring theme. I think a part of me just feels a little bit empty. Here I am on this amazing adventure, experiencing things many dream of, yet I have no one to share them with in the moment. And, that is difficult.

The good news is I'm taking a "bazillion" pictures, so I will be able to share my memories when I go home. Thank goodness for digital cameras and memory cards. And, I want to have good pictures to show everybody, so I guess I will just have to go out and have an amazing time.

Obviously, as I have mentioned before, every day is not wonderful. In Spain, there is still "cattiness" between chicas, misunderstandings, immaturity, and drama. I guess it can never be avoided no matter the country. At times it is extremely frustrating, adding to the frustration of going to school and constantly trying to learn a new language. But just like the negative feelings, the positive ones are present too. After all, the positive could never exist without the negative. It is hard when I feel dis-cluded or criticized because my Spanish is maybe not quite as good as other students. But, what it comes down to is; I am trying my best and those back home will love no matter if I say hola or hello.

Anyways, enough of that...

My friends Emily, Julianna, Kimberly and I, recently went to the beach for a day. We chose to visit Salobrena (there is supposed to be an accent over the n, pronounced like Salobren-ya, and actually it means saline). It is about an hour away, there are many beaches just one or two hours outside of Granada, since Granada is so close to the coast. Salobrena was, to put it simply, quite lovely. The weather was pretty close to perfect, a little too cold to go swimming, but my skin definitely felt sun-kissed by the end of the day. Although I wasn't showing as much skin as some of the girls on the beach that day. This beach is not a nude beach, however it is completely normal for women to go topless, and many choose to do so. I guess in the back of my mind I was aware beaches in Europe were this way, however witnessing it first hand was definitely an adjustment. Also, there really wasn't sand at this beach, just tiny tiny black rocks. Another adjustment.

I have had to make a lot of adjustments here in Spain, and I have tried my best to keep an open mind. Because of that I have gained more out of my experience than just learning a language. I'm learning about myself, and so much more about others. I hope we can go back to the beach one of these weekends. And I will take better pictures, because this time I kind of failed at doing so.

Visiting a Legacy...

This past weekend I went on an excursion to Seville (Sevilla). I really enjoyed the time I spent there. And just like every other part of Spain so far, it felt a little like walking through a history book. But, if there has ever been a moment where I have felt completely beside myself, it was on Sunday. I almost couldn't contain my emotions as we stood amidst archeological ancient Roman ruins.

The feeling of standing in the center of an ancient Roman anfiteatro (amphitheatre) is so amazing, it's indescribable. This place was occupied by people so so long ago. It was built so long ago, and yet it still remains. Gladiators fought there, people died there. Ferocious animals were kept in cages and released into a pit with pillars to fight for triumph or death.

Pillars and statues half remain along with the foundation of housing and even floor tiling. Once, people built it all. Now, this is all that is left of a place that used to be thriving with life. Someday that is all that will exist of the world we live in today. At what point does that land become ruins? How will we go? Why will we leave? People do come and go, but a civilization's legacy and influence can last for thousands of years, maybe even forever. We can experience their life after they have lived it, we can enter the world through their eyes.

The past gives us insight into the future. People lived so differently then, yet they were people just like you and I. They loved and were afraid, they learned and made mistakes, and I'm sure they had good days and bad days. Perhaps for them a bad day was when they were locked in an arena facing a full grown lion, and although typically we are not forced to face a lion, we find ourselves in difficult situations and we must overcome them to continue our lives with content. Ancient Romans were not so different. A person is a person no matter what time period they come from. It's incredible to see evidence of that, even when they lived thousands of years ago.

A Roman civilization once existed in Seville, and for a moment so did I. I shared a space with gladiators. The thought is quite remarkable and it gives me goosebumps.

Am I there yet?

So, I cannot believe that our program is half way over. We just reached the nine week mark, and there are 18 total. In a way I feel like I just got here, and in another way I feel like I have been here forever. Mostly, I just feel like I have been away from my family forever. Maybe distance and time are correlated... the further away, the longer the time seems that you are apart.

I never thought that studying abroad would be such a serious experience. It hasn't been academically serious, I mean I have learned a lot, but I expected that. I have however, seriously, learned so much about myself. Which is maybe something I expected but I didn't know to what extent. I have learned what kind of person I am, what I need to work on, and what I'm good at (that's the hardest). I'm trying my best to stay positive. I do believe this experience will forever change me.

Also I feel a little bit more like I belong here, in Granada. I am more than just a tourist passing through for a visit. But, I also think once I feel completely comfortable it will be time to leave. The transition period has been long and difficult at times, however, I have a slight feeling of accomplishment, like "wow I didn't just think about doing that, I actually did it." Usually they are just simple things, like answering a complex question in class, responding to a conversation without translating in my head first, ordering at a restaurant or asking for instructions at the metro station. I still have A LOT to work on, but as rough as it may be I feel like I can communicate with my Spanish. That is what I wanted all along, and I still have 9 weeks. It can only get better from here!

I'm behind

So, I meant to write this post a while ago and never got around to it. But, Barcelona was pretty amazing so here it is anyways. During the first week of February, Emma, Emily, and I traveled to Barcelona for a few days. I don't think we could have picked a better place to go for our first "tiempo libre" (stretch of free time). I think I fell in love with that city. We stayed at a hostel, which was a new experience for me and for travel companions too. Sleeping on a bunk bed in a room with 9 other people and sharing a communal bathroom is not exactly a four star experience, but the fact that we paid 14 euro a night was not exactly a four star price either. That made it somewhat worth it. And, really it was not that bad, the workers were very helpful and welcoming and the place was clean. We were lucky to share our room with respectful, chill people, although we couldn't figure out what language they were speaking. I would recommend a hostel if you don't mind using the same towel twice, bringing your own shampoo, or not having someone else make your bed every day. A hostel is also a great way to meet people you might not normally interact with.

Day 1: Emily and I went exploring. We found a perfect little breakfast cafe that we ended up going to everyday we were in Barcelona. The coffee was great!

We then spent the day venturing into the city. We did some shopping, as girls do best. And walked along "Las Ramblas," probably the busiest street in Barcelona. Not because of traffic, but because of people. There were so many things to see, you could probably walk that street everyday of your life and always see something different.

Day 2: We went to the beach! I can proudly say I have touched the water of the Mediterranean. Itwas a little cold for swimming, but the weather was nice enough to enjoy a picnic.

(this child was too adorable, I couldn't resist the photo op.)

Day 3: It was a busy day. We started of with our cafe con leche, then headed to La Sagrada Familia, an incredible cathedral and a must see if you ever go to Barcelona. It was designed by Antoni Gaudi. He has definitely made his mark in Barcelona. While I was in the cathedral, I couldn't help but look up. The ceiling and the architecture is absolutely incredible. But, maybe that's the point, in a holy place the idea is to look up... into the heavens. I am hopeful because the most beautiful place is unreachable at the moment, but somehow it was built, therefore it is reachable in the end.

After La Sagrada Familia, we made our way (by the metro!) to Parque Guell. It was amazing and also designed by Gaudi. His house is also located here. Parque Guell is a public park that is so beautiful I couldn't believe you could just walk right through it. The park feels a little bit like walking into a fairy tale. There was a tunnel/ pathway lined with trees and little "candy" cottages. Emily and I had packed a lunch and we enjoyed it on a stone bench, along the pathway, lined with trees... and lived happily ever after.

Oh, wait! I can't forget we also went to el estadio de Barcelona (the futbol stadium) that day, in honor of my brother. We couldn't take a tour because there was a game later that night, Barcelona vs. Madrid, but it was still exciting see. The fans were already arriving, four hours early to support their team.

Day 4: We spent our last morning in Barcelona visiting the Arc de Triomf. A typical monument of Roman architecture. It was built in 1888 for a main access gate of the World's Fair, Universal Exhibitions. Finally before we ended our lovely time in Barcelona we spent some time at the Picasso Museum, but "prohibe fotos" was a common theme around the museum, so I could not take any pictures to show you.

Our trip came to a close, but I will always remember the time I spent in Barcelona. I hope to go back someday. It was really difficult because at the end of my trip I received some very disappointing academic news. After such an amazing trip, I experienced one of the worst nights of my life, felling lonely and somewhat worthless, like all my hard work was for nothing. I'm still very frustrated about the situation, but difficult times are a blessing in disguise, and I am trying to look at it that way. Without them it would be impossible to gain appreciation for the wonderful moments and memories that will last a lifetime. Looking back on my life, I want to remember the moments when I was happiest.

Dia de San Valentin

It's Valentine's day and I would like to talk about some things that I love.

I love that I have the opportunity to experience a different culture and learn a new language. Although, this experience is probably the most difficult and frustrating experience of my life. I recently read a quote on my friends facebook page that said "we are all faced with great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations." I think that that fits my life perfectly at the moment.

I love cafe con leche! The coffee in Spain is amazing, as I am assuming it is in all of Europe. It is always strong and always hot, although the Spaniards prefer a little more sugar than is to my liking. The good news is you can add what you want. To the average Spaniard even a "small" 12 oz. latte would seem muy estrano (very strange), and (muy grande) very big. Granada is a smaller city and that is how its people prefer their coffee, one shot of espresso, sometimes with milk in a small espresso cup. Starbucks, the coffee shop that seemed to take over the world, doesn't even exist here. It is very difficult to find coffee "to go" which in a way symbolizes the importance many Europeans see in sitting down, and taking the time to enjoy themselves, their time, and their company. What's the rush?

I love walking everywhere. Although my sense of direction is not the greatest, and I have gotten lost multiple times, I would prefer to walk, rather than drive any day. Plus, it's better for the environment (Mom that's for you), and getting lost is part of the adventure. Walking allows for more time to think, contemplate, enjoy the scenery, and to take it all in. Again, what's the rush?

I love hearing little kids speak in Spanish. Of course it's natural, Spanish is the language they grew up with, it's the language they know, but I am used to little kids learning English. I am also trying to learn Spanish. When I hear a little kid speaking the language I am trying to learn, as a 21 year old, I just find it remarkable, and incredibly cute.

I love la tortilla espanola. I decided one thing I really miss about the United States is breakfast. I mean a big, delicious, sit down, Saturday morning breakfast. That just does not happen in Spain. Mostly because people are still sleeping during "breakfast time", and by "brunch time" you should eat something light, because lunch is coming in a few hours and that is usually a pretty big meal. However, the tortilla espanola almost makes up for the lack of American breakfast. Because it is kind of like breakfast except you eat it for lunch and dinner. The restaurants here also refer to it as a "potato omelet," for American's who do not understand that it is not a tortilla like the kind for a burrito. It is simply made of egg, potatos, and onions (you can add other vegetables or ham if you like) in the shape of a fat tortilla. So in a way it's kind of like eggs and hashbrowns. :) Here's a link to a recipe. http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/food-network-specials/tortilla-espanola-spanish-omelette-recipe/index.html I don't know how good it will be, but you get the idea.

I love that musicians pop up on the streets while walking through the city. When I am in a good mood, and the weather is nice, I almost feel as if I am in a movie. An artistic song describes my mood and the mood of the day. Sometimes I even try to walk in rhythm with the beat. It's kind of dramatic, but music is capable of turning an ordinary moment into a perfect moment.

And lastly, I love that I miss my family. Because that means I love my family. I really think I'll learn to love being here, in Granada, but it is still something new and something I want to share with the people I love most. I don't want to leave, but I can't wait to reunite with my loved ones and tell of my experiences here. xoxo

Benny Fernando

This is Benny Fernando, a sweet little monkey that was lent to my by wonderful advisor at Willamette. He let me borrow Benny Fernando while I was going through a tough time in my life. I often come across rough points since I do try to have relationships with other people and naturally everything does not always go perfectly. My advisor said "This monkey has helped me through some tough times, and I hope he can do the same for you." Benny Fernando did help me because I knew he had once been of help to another person very special to me. I eventually gave him back, but I told my advisor I wanted to take the monkey to Spain. I decided to name him Benny Fernando because the little tag on his behind says his name is Benny, and then I added the Fernando part. Fernando, because of the Lady GaGa song my mom and I love so much. The picture of him was taken at my home in Idaho, during the holidays (Nacho, his head still smells like "home for the holidays" too). So far Benny has yet to leave my bed here in Granada, but I vow to get him out of the house soon! It's nice to have a little monkey companion who I know carries a lot of love with him.

Unlike Benny Fernando, I have been out of the house. And, I still can't get over the contrast of two different worlds in this city. This past weekend I visited the oldest part of Granada, el Albyzin. We saw the oldest cathedral built in Granada, and there were water features left from the 11th and 14th century. The picture perfect white houses, grated windows, and cobblestone roads were just that, picture perfect. I am not the best photographer but my pictures of Albyzin are beautiful. The view of the Alhambra was not bad either.

Albyzin has a very strong arab/muslim history and culture because during the "conquista" of Granada the Muslims were forced to move, and this is where they settled. The weather was nice, a little cold, but sunny. Which was good because Albyzin is quite a walk and mostly uphill. The group who went on Sunday encountered snow! A rarity in Granada.







After Albyzin I spent my Saturday night with some lovely ladies enjoying the city. Our time in a few different bars, restaurants, and even a discotec (dance club) seemed very upscale, and modern from the Albyzin district. It was crazy to think just that morning I had been in a place almost 1,000 years old, and now I was in a room blasting the latest hip hop music with streaks of neon light darting across the walls and ceiling.

Two worlds are separated only by hills and streets. These two places are so different from one another yet, they exist together. And, Granada would not be the same without either one.

Expectations

I am living in Granada, Spain and the whole experience still seems like a thought bubble waiting to burst. Personally hearing so many people talk about studying abroad and even about the Granada program specifically, it was hard not to have expectations. I tried not to have any, but I don't think I succeeded in fulfilling that agenda. I had to believe that Europe, and Spain, and Granada would be an amazing place, after all this is where I will spend almost half a year of my life.

The city is beautiful; there is so much history here. Whenever I walk anywhere I feel like I'm walking somewhere important. Granada is an old city, but I did not expect it to be so modern as well. I am fascinated by new sights every day, like the old cobble stone streets, the Sierra Nevada Mountains, orange trees that line the roads, so many hole in the wall panaderias (baker's shop), and amidst the neon lights and crowded bars during the night a clothes line between two windows of a nearby apartment.

Secondly, I did not expect my host mom to be so compassionate and understanding, or for her food to be so delicious. I came here for the overall experience, but mostly to improve my Spanish. I need to improve and I believe I will improve. Being immersed in a culture when you have to use the language that you don't totally understand is an indescribable experience until it actually happens to you. Mi Madre (my mom) is very patient, helpful, and kind to me when it probably feels like she is talking to a five year old. Her actions are admirable and much appreciated on my part. She now calls me "hija" the Spanish word for daughter. I realize the relationship I have with her is significantly affecting the improvement of my Spanish.

Bimba is another unexpected comfort to me. She is the small Yorkshire terrier that lives with us. A good relationship with a dog is not dependent on my knowledge and correctness of Spanish. It's nice to come home to that after a day trying to converse in a new language.



Finally, I traveled to Granada with Emily, my previous roommate at Willamette. When we arrived at the Philadelphia airport we were pleasantly surprised to receive a free upgrade to first class on our way to Madrid. I got a lot more sleep on that flight than I expected.



I have only been here a week and have already had some very frustrating times but also have experienced moments I will never forget. I want to look at that flight from Philadelphia to Madrid as a metaphor for these next five months. Yes, it was a seven hour plane ride, but because of the upgrade we had a better experience than expected. Studying in Granada is not going to be easy but it will be the experience of a lifetime, and in the end it is going to upgrade my life.