A new normal

I have been home for a little more than two weeks... and it really seems like so much longer than that. Granada was a dream, a good one, but still it almost doesn't seem like it happened. The program directors told us at the beginning of the program when we returned home we would remember only the greatest times of our experience, and that is true. I don't think I will forget the extremely frustrating moments I endured, but they seem a bit muddled now. I look back on my time in Granada as a very fond memory. I think because the outcome was so great, and what I have learned from my experience is extremely positive, now that it's over that is what stands out the most. At first, my main interest and reason for being in Spain, was for Spanish, to improve my ability to use the language. That's why it was so frustrating for me, because that is all I was basing my experience on. By the time I left I had really learned to appreciate my time in Spain, because it might be the only time I get. I really focused on living my life the way I wanted to, sometimes in English, and sometimes in Spanish. Obviously, my Spanish was still important, is still important, but so was/is my relation with other people, and myself.

I dream in Spanish now, not every dream, but some. When I first got home I woke up not really recognizing where I was, in my room and in Idaho. I would think I woke up late and try to decide which way was the fastest way to walk to school, I could clearly route my way through the streets of Granada, passing by very recognizable sights. It still seems so real. I don't think I have quite grasped the concept that I don't know when I'll be able to go back to Granada, I feel like I might be back there tomorrow. I don't want the images of my favorite plaza, the views I witnessed every day on my walk to school, my host mom cooking dinner and welcoming me home, or the mighty Alhambra decorating the Granada city scape, to fade from my mind. I love Granada, and I'm sad I might never live there again, but someday I will go back.

I have adjusted pretty easily to my life in Idaho, because it is so usual to me. (Although it has been kind of strange not speaking Spanish.) I have lived my typical day thousands of times, in the house where I grew up. However, my life in Granada became a new "normal" for me. It is very strange to know I will never go back to exactly that, the life I knew for five months. But now, that normal has become a part of me, and I am different because of it. My outlook is different, and Granada will stay with me forever.

Two suitcases, packed and ready to go...

So, I'm leaving today. Well technically tomorrow, but at 2:00 in the morning. I head to Madrid for a 5 hour lay over and then to the United States. Philadelphia, Denver, Boise. I'll be home around midnight. I can't believe it's over.

I'm not quite sure what to do with my final hours in Granada. I don't want to waste them, but what is the best way not to? We have a group dinner tonight, one last chance to say goodbye to everybody. Mostly, I am sad to leave because I don't know when I'll come back. Granada has become a city I associate with my life, it is a part of me, and now I must leave it. But, I am returning to the arms of my family, and if it wasn't for that I wouldn't want to leave at all. I am picturing that dramatic movie finale when the main character runs in slow motion into the arms of their loved ones (insert slow romantic song here). Maybe I'm being a little over emotional but I haven't seem my family in 5 months, and that is the longest I have ever gone without seeing them. I am beyond excited. I want to savor my last moments in Granada, but considering I am going to be traveling for about 24 hours, I would also like to get a move on.

Anyways, please stay tuned. I plan to do a couple more blogs when I return home in conclusion with my physical journey. But as you know, and as I've learned, experiences like this stay with you forever, and the effect they have on mental growth is ever changing and expanding. Hasta luego Granada, it's been fun.

This is what is waiting for me at home... <3

A Place I Call Home

“Don’t be sad that it’s over, be happy that it happened.”

~ Dr. Suess

(I realize I am quoting Dr. Suess again, but this quote fits perfectly with what I am going to say.)

When I was traveling home from Greece I just kept subconsciously thinking “I want to get back home,” meaning Granada. Of course my home will always be in Idaho and with my family, but when one becomes comfortable enough to say someplace is home, it’s evident that that place has become very significant in their life. I will always think of Granada as my first home in Europe, who knows what the future holds. I have grown to love it here. I am very excited to return to my family, but I find myself torn.

The other day, I took the long way home from school, so I could walk through more sunlit streets, open plazas, and more of Granada. The weather was beautiful; I got a coffee and sat in my favorite plaza for an hour. I just sat, and thought about my experiences being abroad. I got a little emotional, realizing how much I would miss moments like that, and how much I would miss certain things about Granada. I have said before (this seems to come up in every post), it hasn’t always been easy, actually I have had some of the most difficult times of my life here, but I would never trade my semester in Granada. I am so glad I made the decision to come.

I will miss my walk to school every morning, passing graffiti art, the little tiendas along the road, café tables in the street, and walking between two apartment buildings on the narrow cobblestone streets, and looking up to the sky. I will miss café con leche, getting tapas with mi amigas, and not getting carded when I order a drink. I will miss my host mom, Maria Jose. I will miss the fountains, and I will miss the little bits of history mixed in with the modern.

I can’t wait to bring my family back here someday, to show them my city and where I lived. But, even if I come back someday it will never be the same as is it right now. Just like how I love journeying back from the Willamette library at night, walking through the campus, so serene, and returning to my dorm or apartment. I can’t imagine the feeling ever being the same if I was not a student at Willamette. But, even though I am sad to see it end next year, being a student at Willamette is a feeling I will never forget and am proud to have had the experience, just like the feeling of studying abroad in Spain, and being able to say I lived in Europe for a semester. This experience has forever changed me, I will never forget the lessons I've learned and the obstacles I have overcome. Hopefully, I also won't forget the Spanish I have learned. :)

I’m glad I can say “I’m sad to leave Granada, a place I call home.”

Solo traveler

I recently went to Greece, alone. What an amazing place, and what an amazing experience. I am so thankful I had the opportunity, although I missed my family more than ever, because normally I travel with them. But I do think traveling solo is something everyone should try.

I started off my adventure in Athens. I got to visit the Acropolis, the Parthenon, the Temple of Zeus, and the Agora. I was in the presence of ancient Greek spirit, I felt a little nerdy thinking Aristotle, Plato, and Socrates walked here once, but the feeling was quite incredible. I will never forget it. It's amazing to me that these structures are still standing as they are. The Temple of Hephaistos is the best preserved of its kind, in the world, and it dates back to 460-415 B.C. How incredible is that? Now crumbling and covered in overgrowth these structures were once new and a vital part of city life. I tried to imagine myself as an ancient Greek walking through the Agora (city center), visiting the civic offices, and viewing the speaker's platform, maybe even listening to Aristotle himself. Now only foundations and partial columns remain, but I tried to imagine the scene as it once was, people living there just like you and I.

After two days I made my way to Mykonos, a small island about a 2 and a half hour ferry ride away from Athens. It was a very picturesque. The island felt a little lonely because it was so small, and the weather wasn't that great. Those factors made it difficult to meet people. But, since it was raining so much I got a lot of shopping done! I spent most of my time right along the water front, as that is how the town is situated.

I enjoyed some delicious cappucinos, the Greeks make them well, and some amazing views. I would go back to Mykonos, but next time bring a friend with me.

Santorini was my third stop. The bad weather continued. But, I couldn't let that keep me from seeing a place I had waited so long visit. Santorini is beautiful. My first night I just wandered the down town area, taking in the sights and some food. The next day I signed up for a boat cruise of the island. Guess what? It was raining, but I was trying not to think about it while we treked to the top of an active volcano. I felt the hot steam seeping out from the ground.

We ended our tour in Oie (a small town of Santorini) with the weather beginning to cooperate. I met two girls on the boat tour and we decided to explore the town together. We had an amazing afternoon and evening, taking pictures and finding the house they used in the film "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants." Even though I probably won't ever see them again, it was great to have someone to share the moment with.

My trip to Greece was a success. I have wanted to go there for so long, and I can't believe it happened so soon. I think I got lost at least once a day, but that was part of the adventure. More importantly, I learned how to enjoy my time by myself. Seeing the Parthenon was an unbelievable moment, however I reacted differently than I would have if I had been with someone who was excited to see it too. Because I was alone, my reaction was different than I imagined it, but I learned that doesn't mean I appreciated the opportunity any less.

I was in Greece for a week and got to see some amazing things, and throughout my journey I learned a lot about myself. Independent has always been a word I use to describe my personality, however this trip gave me a new confidence, because I found out I can enjoy amazing things alone, and I discovered this for myself. I did it.

Be what you are and say how you feel because those who mind don't matter,

and those who matter don't mind.

~ Dr. Seuss

So, I am averaging 2 blogs a month... I honestly thought I would write a little more often than that. Sorry to those who are following and log on to see the same blog that has been here for weeks. I'm going to try harder to write more often these last 6+ weeks I'm here. Woah! Crazy right? Six weeks!?

Right now, I'm so happy to be here and that I have this opportunity, but I really miss my loved ones. That has been a reoccuring theme. I think a part of me just feels a little bit empty. Here I am on this amazing adventure, experiencing things many dream of, yet I have no one to share them with in the moment. And, that is difficult.

The good news is I'm taking a "bazillion" pictures, so I will be able to share my memories when I go home. Thank goodness for digital cameras and memory cards. And, I want to have good pictures to show everybody, so I guess I will just have to go out and have an amazing time.

Obviously, as I have mentioned before, every day is not wonderful. In Spain, there is still "cattiness" between chicas, misunderstandings, immaturity, and drama. I guess it can never be avoided no matter the country. At times it is extremely frustrating, adding to the frustration of going to school and constantly trying to learn a new language. But just like the negative feelings, the positive ones are present too. After all, the positive could never exist without the negative. It is hard when I feel dis-cluded or criticized because my Spanish is maybe not quite as good as other students. But, what it comes down to is; I am trying my best and those back home will love no matter if I say hola or hello.

Anyways, enough of that...

My friends Emily, Julianna, Kimberly and I, recently went to the beach for a day. We chose to visit Salobrena (there is supposed to be an accent over the n, pronounced like Salobren-ya, and actually it means saline). It is about an hour away, there are many beaches just one or two hours outside of Granada, since Granada is so close to the coast. Salobrena was, to put it simply, quite lovely. The weather was pretty close to perfect, a little too cold to go swimming, but my skin definitely felt sun-kissed by the end of the day. Although I wasn't showing as much skin as some of the girls on the beach that day. This beach is not a nude beach, however it is completely normal for women to go topless, and many choose to do so. I guess in the back of my mind I was aware beaches in Europe were this way, however witnessing it first hand was definitely an adjustment. Also, there really wasn't sand at this beach, just tiny tiny black rocks. Another adjustment.

I have had to make a lot of adjustments here in Spain, and I have tried my best to keep an open mind. Because of that I have gained more out of my experience than just learning a language. I'm learning about myself, and so much more about others. I hope we can go back to the beach one of these weekends. And I will take better pictures, because this time I kind of failed at doing so.

Visiting a Legacy...

This past weekend I went on an excursion to Seville (Sevilla). I really enjoyed the time I spent there. And just like every other part of Spain so far, it felt a little like walking through a history book. But, if there has ever been a moment where I have felt completely beside myself, it was on Sunday. I almost couldn't contain my emotions as we stood amidst archeological ancient Roman ruins.

The feeling of standing in the center of an ancient Roman anfiteatro (amphitheatre) is so amazing, it's indescribable. This place was occupied by people so so long ago. It was built so long ago, and yet it still remains. Gladiators fought there, people died there. Ferocious animals were kept in cages and released into a pit with pillars to fight for triumph or death.

Pillars and statues half remain along with the foundation of housing and even floor tiling. Once, people built it all. Now, this is all that is left of a place that used to be thriving with life. Someday that is all that will exist of the world we live in today. At what point does that land become ruins? How will we go? Why will we leave? People do come and go, but a civilization's legacy and influence can last for thousands of years, maybe even forever. We can experience their life after they have lived it, we can enter the world through their eyes.

The past gives us insight into the future. People lived so differently then, yet they were people just like you and I. They loved and were afraid, they learned and made mistakes, and I'm sure they had good days and bad days. Perhaps for them a bad day was when they were locked in an arena facing a full grown lion, and although typically we are not forced to face a lion, we find ourselves in difficult situations and we must overcome them to continue our lives with content. Ancient Romans were not so different. A person is a person no matter what time period they come from. It's incredible to see evidence of that, even when they lived thousands of years ago.

A Roman civilization once existed in Seville, and for a moment so did I. I shared a space with gladiators. The thought is quite remarkable and it gives me goosebumps.

Am I there yet?

So, I cannot believe that our program is half way over. We just reached the nine week mark, and there are 18 total. In a way I feel like I just got here, and in another way I feel like I have been here forever. Mostly, I just feel like I have been away from my family forever. Maybe distance and time are correlated... the further away, the longer the time seems that you are apart.

I never thought that studying abroad would be such a serious experience. It hasn't been academically serious, I mean I have learned a lot, but I expected that. I have however, seriously, learned so much about myself. Which is maybe something I expected but I didn't know to what extent. I have learned what kind of person I am, what I need to work on, and what I'm good at (that's the hardest). I'm trying my best to stay positive. I do believe this experience will forever change me.

Also I feel a little bit more like I belong here, in Granada. I am more than just a tourist passing through for a visit. But, I also think once I feel completely comfortable it will be time to leave. The transition period has been long and difficult at times, however, I have a slight feeling of accomplishment, like "wow I didn't just think about doing that, I actually did it." Usually they are just simple things, like answering a complex question in class, responding to a conversation without translating in my head first, ordering at a restaurant or asking for instructions at the metro station. I still have A LOT to work on, but as rough as it may be I feel like I can communicate with my Spanish. That is what I wanted all along, and I still have 9 weeks. It can only get better from here!